The Den of Terror

You read the eccentric flyer, pinned up in the window of The King's Head and figure, hey! Why not?

Requirements:
Level 1 Character,
Core Race Only,
No Templates,
Must meet at least one of the requirements on the poster. Bards inherently count under "stupid".

Additional:
If no-one rolls a healer, I will provide one myself, as always.

Wat-Sun barged into the bar/tavern/saloon with a hearty laugh. "O'ill bet you ull fifty gold septums Ah c'n drink each an' everyun a ya under da table, WAHHA!", he might have already been a little drunk... "Oh yah, Oim Alsuh suppos'n ter be askun fer sum Shady Man in a cornah" he added before collasping into the nearest chair.

The occupants stirred a little at his overly dramatic entrance, but quickly settled down, apparently unimpressed by the display of drunkenness. The King's Head was well known as a gathering place for adventurers, and this kind of thing happened at least once a day.
You sit on a chair alone in the middle of the room.

Leilanad sat impatiently tapping his fingers, waiting for someone to come in with more information on this job. He was broke (again) and really needed the money. He was confident his arrows could take down anything that stood in his way. Upon seeing the drunk fall to the ground, he sighed and walked to the bartender, and asked if he knew anything about the job.

The barman points to a corner, where a shady old man, with face obscured by his robes, is talking with what appears to be the world's shortest suit of armour.
"You be another one o' them fools goin' after the Dreadfather? Ye'r either brave or stupid, lad."

"More apathetic," he said nonchalantly as he walked over to the shady man and requested a job.

Soon enough, the door opened yet again. But entering through, however, was not one of the normal patrons. For one thing, the little elf was much too young for alcohol, in elf-years anyways. For another thing, maaaaybe the tail. Just maybe. In any case, she walked into the tavern with excitement evident on her face. She gazed around happily, oooooing and aaaahhhhing as she swished her tail back and forth. "So thiiis is what its like to be in one of those taverns places daddy warned about! Always filled with adventurers and their like...Which I suppose is why that poster said for here. Lessie, Shady Man, Shaaaaady Maaaan..." She said, looking around and swing a guy in the corner, quite shady. She figured he'd be as good as anyone to ask, and so asked if he knew which shady person the poster meant.

The shady man looks up from his ale at Leilanad, and beckons to him. His voice emanates from the darkness under the hood, old and croaky, with a trace of sorrow.
"More young to the slaughter? As you wish. Take a seat."
The suit of armour looks up from next to him. It raises a hand, in which it seems to be carrying a holy symbol, a wooden circle with six straight rays spaced evenly. The symbol of the most popular deity Candeer (the region in which you all currently reside), the mark of Heli. A high, squeaky voice echoes inside the armour rather comically.
"The rays of Heli bless you."

Meanwhile, Suzy walks over to the nearest shady man in the room. He looks up, rocking forward with whiskey sloshing out of his glass.
"Whaddayooowanlady?"

The little girl looks at the shady person, asking,"Hi, I came here for a bounty, Ithink, and it said to find a shady man in a corner. You wouldn't happen to know of anyone like such, would you?"

"Buymeanudder... anudder bottle o' whiiiiiiiiskey."
A middle-aged woman taps you on the shoulder and points to the other end of the bar where Zeilanad is. The fact that she's carrying a tray of drinks suggests she may be the owner of the establishment. Or at the very least an employee.
"Try over there hon. And I'd be grateful if you'd keep the tail a little more... discrete. People are a little skittish of 'monsters' these days, what with the Axiom of Evil forming and everything."

Suzy cocked her head to the side. "Really? Dunno why people'd be scared of monsters...Most of the ones I know are really nice. But thank you for the advice!" She said, before wrapping her tail around her waist. Maybe people might think it was a belt, after all! She then made her way over to the shady man pointed out by the nice lady, asking,"Are YOU the person who left out those bounty posters?"

The man nods and indicates the seat next to Leilanad's.
"Take a seat, wanderer."

She does so, and looked to the two others already there. She saw that the one she's sitting next to looked kind of similar to her(well, except older, male, and a less interested expression), and then asked him in a cheery voice,"Hey, are yooooouuuuu a abbra...aberrt...aberration too?"

Wat-Sun sat up a little straighter on his chair when hee sensed elves in the tavern. 'Gawddamn filthy aleves. O'ill rip dere bleedin' 'earts out! O'ill cut dere pointy ears off!' he thought to himself before standing up and making his way o er to where they stood. "Oi, yu, aleves! Oi got som'n ter say ter y- Aaaaaw! Lookit 'er wee lil' tayl!"

I walk into the tavern and lean against the wall. "My dear man," I say, shaking my head. "Are you perchance making fun of a little girl's tail?" I grin.

"Whuh? No, it's ahdoorahble. Wazit ter ya anyhow?", he asked the human.

Leilanad looked kind of puzzled and annoyed at the little girl and said, "Umm... No." He then turned to the Dark man and asked, "So what are the details?"

The old man looked around at the group stood infront of him.
"Two miles to the West of here, the forces of evil gather in The Den of Terror. They share a single goal of world domination, and it is my sad duty to send the foolhardy to stop them. All you need do to stop them is to locate the den, find a Journey Stone within it, and use it to reach the leader. Once the figurehead is destroyed, I doubt they shall be so keen to co-operate. They are a real mixed bunch, undead, greenskins, dwarves, even creatures of the deep. You all know the pay, I assume, since you are here. May I take your names? We will need something to write on your tombstones."

"Nayme? Moi nayme is Watsh hum...Washin...Wat-Sun! the Barbarian!" Wat-Sun exclaimed, momentarily distracted from both the adorable little gnome girl and the human. But not the half-elf. "...Oi, Af alef! Oi still got a bone ter pick wid you!" he exclaimed pointing a large green finger directly at it's nose.

"My name's Suzy!" The girl exclaimed happily, not the least distressed by the reason their names were taken up. She thought for a few seconds, before asking,"Can my tombstone have flowers and poems on it, too?"

I smile barely at the young girl-abomination's inherent cute and fuzzy nature before turning my attention to the man. "My name is Sher Lock." I murmur. "Oh and Wat-Sun, please do try to keep your temper in line and not mutilate the half elf until we dont have to rely on him for support any more."

"But e's an af alef!" he turns to face the man but keeps his finger pointed at the half-elf. He then proceeds to place his other hand by the side of his mouth, palm facing out and loudly whisper: "That mayns e's af evul!"

"My dear man," I sigh. "It is very likely that at least two amongst us are evil. Its just how adventuring goes. However, unless you'd like to die later because our... ranger friend here couldnt provide archery support, I suggest that we be most amicable towards him."

The suit of armour clanks a nod and squeaks more words at the party.
"I am agreeink with the human! Errwick is a good healer, but he can't fight an army alone! A twig is easy to snap, but a bundle will hold fast much longer!"

"Nawt if Oim the wun brakin' it. But olrayght, Oi'll let the affer live....fer naow" Wat-Sun proceeds to give the Half-elf the stink eye and make a ridiculously long hand gesture involving pointing at his eyes and then the elf's eyes.